Choices
by Undesirable no 1
Summary: After a rather horrible break up with her boyfriend Summer Brown wants nothing to do with guys till her graduation. Then, along comes Sirius Black and she isn't so sure anymore. Oh and her ex may just want her back. It's all upto her. Who will she chose?
1. Chapter 1

**Full Summary: **After a rather horrible break up with her long term boyfriend, Summer Brown is sure wants nothing to do with guys till her graduation. Then, along comes Sirius Black and she isn't so sure anymore. They get along fabulously and she's sure he wants her. But will she give love a second chance, when she was bruised so badly the first time? Oh, and her ex may just want her back. Is she really over him? After all first loves are hard to forget and that's what Lucas was to her. He just made mistakes, and deep down she knows he loves only her. Choices choices, so many of them! She has to make one, because running away this time is not an option, as both the parties are determined. Oh dear.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Chapter 1**

"What excuse do you have now?" I questioned, my eyes blazing.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to do it. You know me-" Lucas started with his head hung on his shoulders and his eyes landing on everything but my face.

"You didn't mean to do it?" I interrupted incredulously, my anger mounting terribly. "You think that's going to take back everything you did to me? All the hurt that you've caused?" I yelled at my boyfriend.

He sighed. "I know I've been an asshole. But-" he locked his eyes with mine, his were full of regret, "I'm really sorry now. Summer you know you're my girl, you will always be."

"Really?" I sneered, "then tell me, didn't you remember this when you were in that broom cupboard with Felicity? Or were you confounded?!"

"Fuck" He moaned sinking down on the armchair. "I'm so so sorry. I swear it won't happen again!"

That last statement really broke me down. I was sick of it, sick of his empty promises and his false assurances that he won't cheat on me again, sick of giving him second chances and swallowing the pain of being the girl who took all the crap without complaining. I was just sick of everything about him. My eyes began to water.

I shook my head. "No, it will. I know it, you know it too! I'm done here Lucas. I'm just done."

A slightly panicked look crossed his face, but it was gone as soon as it arrived. He stood up and walked over to me with his face penitent. I took a step back and noticed the raw hurt on his face. Seeing his go through the same pain that I experience made me feel strangely vindicated, my resolve strengthened. I wasn't going to give in this time.

"Summer, I know how you feel. Yes I do." He added on seeing my disbelieving look. He placed his hands on my shoulders and the slight shadow that crossed his face confirmed that he had noticed my body stiffen.

"I never mean to do this, I really really don't. I want to go back and be the way I was, before all this happened and I swear to god I'm trying. I love you Summer, and I want to be with you. I'm just trying to get over the accident, and I promise I'll try harder-"

"That excuse is not going to help now Lucas!" I exclaimed shrugging his hands off my shoulders. "I'm really sorry for all the tragedy that occurred in your family last year, but just because of that you're not going to get away with your cheating! I can't take all this anymore. We're over!"

"Don't do this to me Summer, please." Lucas pleaded his voice soft and for a tiny moment just because of his sad tired eyes I almost forgave him, almost.

"How many times have I said that to you before Lucas? You know, I just- I'm just so tired of all this. I'm tired of your ways Lucas, I can't take it anymore." I said wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"I love you baby. One last time, please." He said his face somber.

"One last time? You think I'm some punching bag Lucas? How many times will this happen? I believed you when you said that you were completely sloshed when you slept with Emily Sparks during summer! I trusted you when you said you didn't realise what you were doing. It hurt, but I got over it. I forgave you. But guess what? You did it again! You know how crushed I was? The whole fucking school knew! God, I was embarassed! But I forgave you still! Lily didnt talk to me after that you know? She thinks I deserve better than you, and you know what? I agree!"

His eyes hardened slightly as he walked closer to me again, "Lily Evans is a stuck up bitch. I don't care what she thinks. But baby, I don't want to let you go." He put his hands on my shoulders again and bent down to look me in the eyes. "You mean the world to me, and I know I'm important to you too."

I looked away from his coffee coloured orbs, "you are, but fortunately or unfortunately for you my self respect matters a whole lot more to me. And don't you dare bad mouth Lily." I added the last part with a burning glare at him.

"Sorry." He said not really meaning it, and suddenly his face was very close to mine and his eyes skimmed over every, inch every feature of my face. "You know we're meant to be Summer, you know you want me. Let's just forget all this and be the way we were." He whispered, his hot breath tickling my lips.

Involuntarily, my heart beat quickened. As much as I loathed it, it was a fact that he still affected me physically. I cursed my body for responding the way it did to his touch and took a huge step away from him.

"No Lucas, this can't go on. I'm sorry. We're over." I said with finality.

He stood stock still where he was, all his emotions wiped off from his face now.

"You're not going to change your mind?" it wasn't much of a question, a statement really.

"No." I said quietly.

"Its all your doing Lucas." I said inaudibly but I was sure he heard it, and with one last look at the indecipherable expression on his face I walked out of the gryffindor common room, away from the person who had been there with me through so much in life. I was finally walking away and it broke my heart to do it, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

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A/N: So what do you think? Is it worth updating or should I take it down? Some feedback would be greatly appreciated! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Chapter 2**

I was seated in the common room on one of my favourite armchairs, near the warm crackling fire place trying in vain to complete the ridiculously long transfiguration essay. It was late in the night, and the room was almost empty save for a few slackers like me. I sat up straight and massaged the crick in my neck. It was official, the N.E.W.T.S were the bane of my existence. I looked at my so called essay in frustration; we were supposed to write a 3 feet long thesis and after hours of back breaking work mine was still falling seven inches short. Chuck it. I sighed in irritation, this was torture. I gave one helpless glance at my essay and shoved my quill in my bag.

"I'm bloody done." I muttered standing up and stretching a bit.

"You don't look too happy."

Startled I looked behind my back to find Sirius Black grinning. He was wearing a white wife beater and dark blue boxers.

"Oh hey. What're you doing here at this time?" I asked recovering from my initial surprise on finding the much talked about marauder standing behind me. Black was not what I would call a friend. We were just casual acquaintances.

He shrugged, "couldn't sleep."

I nodded not really knowing what to say. I bend down to scoop up my books and all the stuff that was strewn over the table and instantly Sirius was beside me to help.

"Thanks." I said as I took the charts he handed me.

"That essay's a killer huh?" he asked nodding his head at the piece of parchment in my hands.

I exhaled tiredly, pinching the bridge of my nose "You bet."

"I could help you if you want." he suggested casually.

I smiled feeling a little grateful. "That's very nice of you Sirius. But I've already finished it and I honestly don't have the patience to go through it once again."

He smiled; he had a really nice smile I noted absently, "fair enough."

He sank into the armchair I had just vacated, with a tired sigh. I noticed that his face looked a bit haggard and insipid.

"You okay?" I asked awkwardly. We never really associated much, but I couldn't but wonder what it was that was troubling him.

"Yeah." He muttered rubbing his face with his hands, "just tired and insomniac"

"Why don't you take one of those sleep inducing potions from Madame Pomfrey?" I suggested.

He snorted, "Poppy hates me. I've been in the hospital wing enough times to give her nightmares."

I smiled faintly, "She'd still be more than happy to be any help to you."

"Oh I doubt it. She'd probably slip in some of wizzy's instant death potion or something."

I laughed lightly, "Yeah and probably you fou-"

"Summer?" a low sleepy voice from the foot of the stairs interrupted us. I turned to look at the source and my amused smile slid off my face in an instant.

Lucas stood at the foot of the stairs staring at us looking surprised. His hair was tousled and his eyelids were swollen.

"Good night Sirius. If you want, I could take the potion from Madame Pomfrey for you" I said, ignoring Lucas completely and swinging my bagpack over my shoulder. Instantly, the little bit of light mood I had managed to acquire in that moment vanished like a light bulb being switched off.

"No, that wouldn't be necessary, but thanks anyway." Sirius replied trying to be oblivious to the sudden tension in the air. Obviously, he knew about our break-up, the whole school did. 'Summer Brown finally dumps her cheating boyfriend' the news had travelled like wildfire. It wasn't that I was popular, no; people were interested in the doings of my ex. Lucas Mayors incidentally happened to be liked by quite a number of girls in Hogwarts. How typical.

I walked towards the stairs leading to the girl's dormitories, resolutely not looking at Lucas, after all it had been just two days after our break-up, and I wasn't exaclty ready to deal with him.

"Sweet dreams." I heard Lucas whisper softly as I ascended the stairs.

I clutched my bagpack tightly trying to soothe the sudden emotions that welled up inside me on hearing his voice, and anger was certainly one of them. How dare he be so casual and tell me something like 'sweet dreams' when he'd hurt me so bad? Was he mocking me?

I entered my dormitory and dropped my bag noisily beside my bed not caring if I woke the others or not. Kicking off my shoes I collapsed on my four-poster with a sigh.

"Summer, is that you?" the groggy voice of my best friend Aubrey Jones floated over from the bed beside mine.

"Yeah, go back to sleep." I said.

I didn't hear a reply.

I was seated in the library the next afternoon, trying to burry myself in the books. I'd avoided going to the great hall that morning by pretending to have a headache. It was really annoying to have Lily throw thoughtful looks at me now and then. Really, if she was so itching to gloat about how right she was about Lucas, why didn't she come and just speak to me?

"I knew you'd be here."

I looked up to find the owner of my recent thought take a seat across me. Speak of the devil…

I stared at Lily blankly. It had been two months since we had last spoken.

She stared back, "what?" she asked as though everything was fine and dandy and that she hadn't just acknowledged my existence after a thousand years.

"Don't pretend nothing's going on Lily." I replied through clenched teeth. I was still mad at my best friend for deserting me suddenly like that.

Lily sighed, "Summer, I'm not going to revel okay? I know I shouldn't be saying this but I knew this was going to happen."

Annoyance rose inside me, "thanks." I muttered.

Lily rolled her eyes, "oh for god's sake! We're best friends and you shouldn't be hurt if I say such things!"

I took a deep breath trying to swallow my anger. "Best friends shouldn't just stop talking to each other." I spat.

Lily sighed and leaned forward, "look, I just couldn't stand to see you with that scum alright?"

"That does not mean you just desert me like that!" I exclaimed. Why was she so infuriating?

"I tried to reason with you, you just werent ready to listen. I couldn't believe that you actually went back to him, after he did all that to you." She said her voice soft.

"Yeah, so did Aub. But she never left me like you did." I replied with narrowed eyes.

"Maybe I was wrong about doing that, but I still had my reasons. That was so unlike you."

"Maybe then you should stop having such high expectations from your friends! I can't be like you Lily. Maybe I was wrong and pathetic for forgiving him then, but I still needed you. I needed you to support me however wrong I was, because that is what best friends do!" I said my pitch crawling up.

Lily didn't say anything for a moment. Her eyes were unfocused as she stared at her lap. After a few silent moments during which I tried to soothe my resentment she looked back up. Her eyes were glistening with tears. My anger reduced, Lily crying wasn't a frequent occurrence.

She took my hand in her's and spoke, her voice wavering "I'm sorry Summer. I know I shouldn't have done that, but I was angry and disappointed. You know how I get, I wasn't thinking straight. You're right, that isn't what best friends do and maybe I was expecting too much from you. But I'm sorry now, and I swear I will never desert you like that in the future ever again."

I looked into her eyes and I saw that she really meant it. That really wasn't anything new though; Lily only said those things she truly believed in. I took a deep breath and with much difficulty swallowed the tears that were threatening to pour. God, it had been so long and painful without her by my side. To call her my friend again felt….enlivening. My anger quickly ebbed away. Now, I couldn't possibly be mad with my best friend forever, could I?

"Yeah because if you do, I'll tell James every single secret of your's that I know." I replied my lips beginning to quirk upwards to form what was possibly my first real smile in the present week.

Following my example Lily's face was also lightened by a tentative smile, "so, am I forgiven?"

I smiled full on, "I guess." I replied purposely, I knew how much she hated when people said that little phrase.

Her lips stretched into a wide grin and she leaned over to give me a huge bear hug. Laughing lightly I reciprocated the hug by standing up and wrapping my hands tightly around her. I tried hard not to sob. I know how you people feel. Why was I forgiving her so easily when I had been so angry just a few moments ago? See, she's my best friend, someone who had always been there for me. The only one time when she hadn't been, she was the one who turned out to be right in the end. It's like I was waiting for her to apologise so that I could forgive her and be her best friend again.

"So now that we're friends again" I said as we broke our hug and sat back down again, "can I please borrow your transfiguration essay?"

Smiling ear to ear she shrugged, "you know what my answer will be Summer, why bother asking?"

"Yeah yeah." I muttered trying to sound annoyed but unable to wipe of that stupid smile off my face.

Things were alright, atleast for the moment.

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**A/N:** Review please! CC is most welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Chapter 3**

"You know what I hate the most?" Aubrey muttered.

"What?" I asked.

After a few minutes of silence, "Never mind."

I sighed and looked up from the book I was reading and found my best friend shooting virtual daggers with her eyes at a couple nestled cozily into an armchair, near the fireplace.

"You and Jonathan really need to get over your silly issues and just _talk_ to each other." I said feeling a bit exasperated.

Aubrey snorted still glaring at the said boy as he got himself engrossed in a make out session with the girl on his lap, "He can snog who-ever he wants to. We have got _nothing_ to talk about."

I raised my eyebrows skeptically, "Really? Then why are you murdering him with your eyes?"

Aubrey rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner, "I'm not _murdering_ him with my eyes. It's just; they're trying to be so _obvious _about it. _Please!_ People don't like to watch gross stuff like that! He can shag her as much as he wants to, but I'd be happier if he finds a more private place to do that!"

"Whatever, I give up. I don't think even Merlin can pull you both out of that serious denial." I muttered.

"I'm not in denial!" Aubrey exclaimed.

"Just listen to yourself right now." I muttered.

All I received in return was a vicious glare.

"You know what I think?" Aubrey suddenly spoke up, finally ungluing her eyes from the couple in the armchair.

_Here goes_. "What?"

"I think, being single has messed up your mind."

_Huh?_ "What is that supposed to mean?"

Aubrey shrugged, "Whatever you want it to."

I shook my head wearily, used to her frequent bouts of childish behavior.

"And you know what I think?"

"No, I don't know what you think Aubrey." I replied through gritted teeth.

"I think that you need to find yourself a new boyfriend." She declared.

I snorted, shaking my head resignedly and going back to my reading. If I ignore her whimsical behavior, it'll pass. It always does.

"No I'm serious Summer. You need to find for yourself a perfect boy-toy. Someone who can take your mind off that fucker and maybe cheer you up a bit."

I tensed up a bit. We hardly mentioned Lucas after the break-up.

"I don't think so Aub." I snapped.

Aubrey let out an exasperated sigh, "Summer it's been three weeks! And all you're doing is wallowing in your own sorrow, when he's out there getting some!"

Despite myself, I asked, "what do you mean he's getting some?"

"I mean, I dunno. Knowing him, I'm sure he must be out there shagging someone crazy!" Aubrey exclaimed.

Ignoring the piercing feeling in my heart I went back to work. "I couldn't care less. And frankly, I've decided to be off boys for a bit now."

"_Why_?" Aubrey asked, as though I were completely mental.

"_Because_ for your information_, _I've had a rather horrific breakup. I'm not ready for anyone yet!" I nearly screamed.

"That's crap." Aubrey said rolling her eyes. "I don't think there is any such thing as not being ready. One is always ready for love…. and maybe for good sex."

I snorted, "Speak for yourself."

Aubrey shrugged, "Okay, I'll speak for myself about the sex part. But love on the other hand, just _happens_. You can't control that Summer."

I frowned, wondering what she was trying to get at.

"I mean it Summer. Go find someone. In fact I think this break up was sort of a blessing in disguise for you."

I looked at her incredulously. I broke up with my boyfriend because he slept with the school whore and humiliated me to the point that it hurt. How could that be _any_ sort of a blessing?

Aubrey sighed, reading my face. "Maybe you won't realize it now, but you will soon. You're better off without that loser, trust me."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I had no idea why she was suddenly so eager to talk about all this. She had to know that I wasn't ready as yet, and deep down inside I knew that probably I never would be.

It's easy to let go of someone you love when they've hurt you repeatedly. At least you can mask the love with all the anger, but the case with Lucas and I was different. It would always be different. Aubrey wouldn't understand that, no one would.

We had been neighbors since we were two. Born in the same muggle neighborhood, we went to the same kindergarten. I remember our first meeting; little Lucas had offered me a gummy bear. The white one, his favorite ones. I had smiled shyly and popped it into my mouth.

"_What's your name?" he'd asked, not an ounce of shyness in him._

"_Summer." I'd murmured._

"_Like the season?"_

_Blushing I'd replied, "Yes, like the season."_

_He'd put his tiny arm around my shoulders and declared out to the world, "We're going to be best friends."_

And we were. From that day, Lucas and I were inseparable. Two pees in a pod, partners in crime, friends with benefits, joint at the hip; over the years we had managed to acquire many nicknames, but the fact was that we completed each other. Lucas-and-Summer, it had always been that way. Our mothers were best friends, our fathers got together on Sundays to drink beer and chat about mundane stuff. Then gradually both of us realised that we were different, different from all the people we knew. We received the letter together; we went together to Hogwarts, ended up in the same house, with almost the same classes. In a nutshell, our lives were entwined from the very beginning. We were _meant to be_.

There was no particular phase or time in our relationship when it became more intimate. It seemed like a natural progression. 'Of course they had to get together', I remember hearing our mothers talking. We were 13 then and Lucas had given me my first kiss in Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day. I had described the entire day in gushing detail to my mother in a letter. We had returned home for vacations that year to find our mothers all smiles and overjoyed. They giddily whispered together, already planning our future wedding and how beautiful it would be if we get married at the beach, and how absolutely wonderful it was that we were in love.

The two years after that were an absolute bliss. We were happy together; our love only seemed to grow. Of course we couldn't possibly have anticipated what was going to happen next.

It was the September in our fifth year that changed our lives. That morning Lucas received an owl from home stating that his parents had met with an accident and that his father lay in the muggle hospital with his lower body paralysed and his mother had not been able to make it. It had been earth-shattering for him and for me too. Mrs Flockhart was almost a mother to me.

It was devastating, and I took time to get over it, but I did eventually. That wasn't the case with Lucas. He was extremely close to his parents and after the accident it was as though some part inside of Lucas had died. The Lucas I had known and loved somehow just, _vanished_. He became distant and most of all, _he changed_. He changed so much that it was frightening. He wasn't the same jovial, faithful boyfriend that he had been. This new Lucas was cold, silent, stoic, someone who got drunk and cheated on his girlfriend by sleeping with a random girl.

I knew it was painful for him, but did he understand how utterly agonizing it was for _me_? No he didn't. It was always about him. He needed time to heal, he needed space, and he needed me to understand that his cheating meant _nothing_. Suddenly I became the punching bag, the doormat, someone who he could take for granted, someone who loved him so much that she would _understand_ his behaviour and stick with him no matter what.

But I wasn't _that_ strong, my self esteem wasn't _that_ low. After a tumultuous sixth year our relationship was in shambles. The old Lucas wasn't coming back and that realization was a terrible blow. I couldn't keep lying to myself anymore; I couldn't keep defending his behaviour. I just _couldn't_.

His romp with Felicity Rayne had been the final nail in the coffin, the last straw, and we were over. Lucas-and-Summer were over. It was hard, it was painful, but it was _right_. For both of us.

"Summer! Hello? Are you listening to me?" Aubrey's voice floated over, jerking me out of my reverie.

I breathed in blinking back tears.

"I don't wanna talk about this now." I said quietly, with a touch of finality.

Aubrey sighed, as though in defeat, she knew better than to push me when I'm not ready.

"Fine. But please think about it."

I nodded faintly.

After a few moments, suddenly Aubrey took a sharp intake of breath.

"_That bitch!"_ she hissed.

"What?" I asked looking up from my book and followed her gaze.

Jonathan –the boy with whom she shared a love hate relationship- was rising from the couch and following the girl, with whom he was making out just a few moments ago outside the portrait hole. The girl was giggling and pulling him by his hand.

Aubrey's face suddenly shut down. She pursed her lips and stood up.

"I'm going to the dormitory." She muttered.

Just as he was about to step out of the portrait hole, Jonathan looked back and his eyes locked with Aubrey's. Jonathan faltered a bit in his steps, and for a second I thought I saw a flash of uncertainty on his face, as if he realized that he was going too far. Aubrey broke the eye contact and ran up the stairs and the girl dragged Jonathan out of the portrait hole.

I sighed, shaking my head, when would people stop playing games and do what they really want to do?

I returned back to my book, but not before smiling at Sirius Black who had just entered the common room.

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**A/N:** Wow that was fast! Don't get too spoilt though. Updates, in my case have chances of being rather sporadic. :) Please review! CC is most welcome.


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